
IS 

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AMES' Series of 

STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA. 



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f> 5 6 5 5 

MO THEE'S FOOL. 

IN n.N K ACT, 



5P 

to 

1 



W HENRI V.'ILKINS. 



WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES AND EXTTS, RELATIVE 
POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE. DE- 
SCRIPTION OF COSTUME, AND THE WHOLE OF 
THE STAGE BUSINESS, AS PERFORM- 
ED AT THE PRINCIPAL AMER- 
ICAN AND ENGLISH 
THEATRES. 



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CLYDE, OHIO, 

A. D AMES, PUBLISHER, 



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* 



v - + £L N ? A A Py . PA { E - An Ethiopian Sketch for two characters. Is a 
favorite little sketch with all who play it. Costumes exagerated This is "Nig- 
ger all over, ' and ought to be in the hands of every minstrel company Time 
ol performance, 10 minutes. 



I 



■ OZ€jZQZ€ r CQTjaOQZ€)ZOZQZQ r OQ r OO'OQ r OQZQZ:QZQ'OQTj 
AMIES' STAKDAKD AI\1> MINOR DKAMA. 

ty FIFTEEN CENTS PER COPY. 

5) 1. itffi. yliVD JtTZ?>S. PRINGLE, A comic interlude in one act, 7 male, 4 fe- 

\ •) male characters. A very funny afterpeice. A light plot hinging upon the fact 

\ ••) that Mr. Pringle who has a horror of children, marries as he supposes a widow 

/p. of about fifty, without any. The situations as the children appear one by one, 

> ( are very funny. Scene, a "drawing room. Time of performance 45 minutes. 
A 1. A DESPERATE GAME, A comic drama in one act, by John Madison 

(j Morton, 3 male 2 female characters. Scenery, simple in-door sets. It is very 

*) funny and since its publication has been performed often and with great suc- 

, \ cess. Time of performance 45 minutes. Every company should have it. 
A 3. THE LAD Y OF LYONS. Nothing need be said in praise of this play. 

( J It is by Bulwer, and has 12 male and 2 female characters. A favorite with all 

<[-) great players. It abounds in eloquent declamation. Time of playing, 3 hours. 
Q 4. RICHELIEU. A play in 5 acts, by Bulwer. 12 males and 2 females, 

rf) Time in representation, about 3 hours. 
(§ 5. WHEJS WOMEN WEEP. A comedietta in 1 act, by J. Newton Gotthold. 

f3 males. 2 females. It is an old saying that if women will weep, their husbands 
or lovers will grant any favor. This shows how it is done. Scene *> parlor, 

(j) Time of perfotmanee 30 minutes. 

Q 6. THE STUDIO. An Ethiopean farce in 1 act for 3 males. "Very funny. 

(p Some very amusing experience in artist's studio is given. Just the farce for iim- 

Q at uer minstrels. Easily produced. Time of performance 20 minutes. 
(!) 7. THE VOW OF THE ORN AN I. A drama in 3 acts, by J. Newton (Jott- % 

( )) hold, 7 males, 1 female. Capital parts for leading man, two old men, and leading Q 

(i ) lady. Will be found a good drama in every respect. One hour. 

() 8. THE BETTER HALF. A comedietta in 1 aet, by Thos. J. Williams, 5 

(j ) male 2 females. Time, present, costumes modern. "Julia" in this play is al- 

( 5) ways a favorite character with actresses. We have also a fop, a pouty old fellow . 

([ ) a husband who is not half as much of a man as his wife, etc. A tiptop play. 

( j) Time of performance 50 "minutes. 

(<D 9. LADY AUDLEY'S SECRET. A drama in 2 acts by Wm. E. Suter, 6 ] 

(.} male 4 females. In addition to being a favorite stock play with the profession, 

(<) it is always in good demand from amatuers. The character of Lady Audley is i 

(5) one of the best for leading' lady. It has leading men, old man, and two first- (j 

(1) class comedy parts. All who have read the celebrated novel by the same name fa 

q will want the drama. Time of representation 1 hour ana 40 minutes. 

A) 10. STOCKS IP AND STOCKS DOWN. A dialogue in 1 act, 2 male char- 

(p acters. Costumes exagerated, evening, and dilapidated. Scene a street. Ex- 

(j) tremely ridiculous. Time of performance, 10 minutes. 

<§« 11. JOHN SMITH. A farce in 1 act by W. Hancock, 5 male 3 females. This 

(i) farce must not be confounded with "John Schmidt," as there is no similarity, 

(g> this one being much more laughable. The character of "Old John Smith" is ff) 

^n immensely funny, and will keep an audience in roars of laughter whenever he J 

Q appears. A favorite farce, every character good. Costumes simple. Scenery Hfc 

fo plain room. Time of playing, 40 minutes. 

<jj 12. A CAPITAL MATCH. A comic drama in one act, 3 males, 2 females. This 

/p is one of John Madison Morton's best pieces, is very neat and easily produced. j 

^ I he scenery is simple, can be played in a parlor if necessary. Time 35 minutes. 

ffl) 13 Gl VE ME MY WIFE. A farce in orve act by Wm. E. Suter. 3 male, 3 fe- 4 

(^ male characters. Easily produced, costumes modern. A dreadful misunder- (I) 

fc standing in this farce which the name will imply, Order a copy and you will <& 

fa like it. Time of performance 30 minutes 

(V I 4 - J nE BRIGANDS OF CALABRIA. A Melo-Drama, in one act, by % 

(£) Wm. E. Suter 6 male, 1 female character. This isa capital play of the blood- (ft 

<K arid-thunder description, and abounds with sword combats, pistols, etc., etc. It «\, 

* also has a good comedy man, who always is very funny, and very hungry. This 

has always been a great favorite with all companies who have played it". Time I 

vp of performance about 1 hour. v 



i 



MOTHERS FOOL, 



A FARCE, 

IN ONE ACT, 
BY 

\7. HENRI WILKIHS, 



Author of Rock Allen the Orphan, Three Glasses a Day, Fun by the Buobel, 
The Yankee Family, Etc, Etc. 

I 

V 



Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1879, by 

A. D. AMES, 
»n the office of the Librarian of Congress, at "Washington. 






1 



CLYDE OHIO, 

A. D. AMES, Publisher. 



v s : 



MOTHER'S FOOL. 






e ^ 



> 



<\ 



CHARACTERS. 

Captain Thunderbolt ; 

Triangles Colored Servant. 

Augustus Selwell 

Toby Thompson Mother's Fool. 

Hans Glyvanham 

Cinnamon Collins . 

Polly Pineapple With soaring anticipations. 



COSTUMES— Modern. 



Time of playing — Forty-five minutes 



Mother's Fool. 



act r 



SCENE— Captom Thunderbolt's office. Table a, on which are various va 
pers. The walls of the office are hung with s'ww bills of d'fferent kinds. Can- 
tain at table. ' P 

Capt. Bother upon bother ! What a vexatious life the show business is 
Help drunk, weather bad, light houses, and so on ad infinitum. However 
my arrangements for the coming season are pretty well under way But to 
cap the whole climax, I've just had mother Thompson's foolish son thrust 
upon my hands. Iff 1 " 
consented to his comi 




husband gave me quite a lift in my younger days; so out of courtesy 
her I let him come. His visit will soon be over, so I must try and put un 
with him. But to business. I certainly thought ray card in the Clivver- 
would be responded to ere this. What I am in pressing need of, is a good 
trustworthy person to act as a private secretary ; in fact, a kind' of confi- 
dential agent, who can, if occasion requires, take charge of my business 
during my temporary absence. {rings bell. 

Enter Triangles, l, 

Triangles I'm dry. 

Tri. Yes, massa Cap'n. What shall I fetch ye? 

Capt. Bring me a bowl of punch, right away, do you hear? 

Tri, Yes massa Cap'n, I'll be spry. , .. 

Capt. That servant has got so he can't make a decent punch and he* 
causes me trouble in many other ways. He's quarreled with Toby everv 
day since he's been here. However he and Dolly get along nicely and I 
suppose none of us are perfect, so I may as well keep him. (takes out watch\ 
Why, Augustus should have been here by this time. Maybe he's in the 
house with Dolly. Augustus would make a good husband for Dolly and if 
he asks her, I hope she will not say no. Although he is a comparative 
stranger, he's got good blood in his veins, any one with half an eve can 
see that. J 

Enter Triangles, L., with punch. 

Tri. {placing punch on table) Here's de punch, massa Cap'n 

Capt. Very Veil, you can go. But mind you'r in readiness'if I should 

ring, (exit Triangles, l.) That beverage looks inviting, (sips vunch) I 

declare this isn't so bad after all. I'll give that boy credit of fixinff it un 

right once in his life. (sips punch. Hap r., Capt. puts punch on table 



4 MOTHER'S FOOL. 

Enter Cinnamon, R. 

Cin. How dye du Squire ? give me a grip at lhat quarter of beef. 

(takes Captain's hand and shakes it. 

Capt. Well sir, how's this ? Couldn't you wait to be invited in? "What 
took you here ? 

Cin. (points to his boots) Them fellers. 

Capt. Will you please be so kind as to state your business? 

Cin. You want a private scratchetary, don't ye? 

Capt. A what ? 

Cin. Why, a feller to answer your dunnin' letters, lick postage-stamps, 
and make himself generally useless. 

Capt. Ah, I see ! Do you think you are qualified for such a position ? 

(sips punch. 

Cin. I have faith to believe, boss, that I'm just the chnp for the bizness. 
I can cabbage all the money, hug all the women, and if you should come 
to the fightin' part, a common man ain't no more side o' me than a fly is 
side of a bullfrog. 

Capt. You seem to have quite an exalted opinion of your talents. Are 
you a performer on the stage. 

Cin. U-m-ra-m, I guess I be, that's my home. I'm a variety performer. 
Double song and dance. If ever I Cease to Love, and so forth and so on. 
Dab in and Fight 'em. 

Capt. Well, I regret to say that I am not yet prepared to engage the 
services ot any one. You are my first applicant and I must take a short 
time to consider the matter in. (sips punch. 

Cin. Well, while you are considerin' spozen ye give a feller a mouthful 
to stay his stomach with. 

Capt. Certainly it you are in need of something. What will you have? 

Cin. Don't ^j.re whether I have suassengers or taller candles. 

Capt. You are anxious to shine I see. 

Cin. Yes-sir-ee. All my family haz riz' higher in skience, and throwed 
out more rays of light than any professor, lecturer, phrenologer, astronol- 
oger, or any other ologer, of these or any other times. 

Capt. Come, come, (going l.) this way. Take yourself to the kitchen. 
I'll talk with you on a full stomach. 

Cin. Sartin — Come boots get up. (clucks, exit l. 

Capt. Ha, ha ! what a genius. If that is a specimen of my applicants, I 
fear my arrangements are not as near completed as I imagined. 

Enter Toby, l. 

Toby. Uncle, come go fishin' with Toby. 

Capt. Toby, why do you insist upon calling me uncle? I am not your 
uncle. 

Toby. Well you ought to be my uncle, hadn't you uncle ? 

Capt. Toby, you insinuate without knowing it, but never mind. How- 
ever it will be impossible for me to go fishing with you. Are you partic- 
ularly anxious, Toby ? 

Toby. Oh, I like to fish. I like to see the fishes, squirm when 1 hook 
'em. I been fishin' every day since I come to see you. 1 keep my little 
hook baited all the time. 

Capt. Very well then. You can go without me. (rings bell. 

Enter Triangles, h. 

Tri. Here be I am massa Cap'n. 

Capt. Another punch Triangles, you did well on this last one. 
Tri. (aside) Golly ! massa Cap'n'll be all punched up 'fore Ions. 
Toby. Punch ! I like punch. r 5 

Tri. Massa Cap'n, what's that feller round here for, any way ? 



MOT II KlfS FOOL. 5 

Ca.pt. Oh, never mind him Triangles, he's somewhat demented. 

Tri. He's a fool, ain't he ? ( Toby laughs silly* 

Capt. You're impertinent, sir. Go bring the punch! 

Tri. Oh, I'll tend to him, right away. (exit h. 

Toby. Uncle, what's a fool ? 

Capt. What a question Toby, what makes you ask such? 

Toby. 'Cause the boys and girls say : Toby's a fool. And that Augustus 
man said I was my mother's fool. Has mother got a fool, uncle ? 

Capt. You must not mind what Augustus said. You'd better be off to 
your fishing now. 

Toby. Oh, I like to fish ! I'll ketch that Augustus man on my little 
hook, if he calls me mother's fool. I like to fish. (exit h. 

Capt.^ Poor young man, what an object of pity. Augustus had bette ) 
show his gentlemanly manners, by keeping such remarks away from the 
ears of Toby. I have heard that persons of his class were perfectly furi- 
ous, if their temper is once aroused. 

Enter Triangles, l., with punch. 

Tri. Here's de oder punch. (places punch on table 

Capt. I see. You can go now. 

Tri. If you want another punch I can give it to ye. 

Capt. That will do sir, go 1 (Triangles exit l.) One thing I have omit- 
ted, which mast be attended to. I must make out my order and take it 
down to the printer right away, (sips punch. Bap outside, r) Come in I 

Enter Hans, B. 

Hans. Dish ish goot day. (grasps Captain's hand, 

Capt. Yes, a very nice day. Can 1 be of service to you ? 
Hans. You ish de man vot. I saw in de baber ? (shakes hands. 

Capt. (holding a tiqht grip) Oh, you have called in answer to my adrer , 
tisement ? 
Hans, (trying to release his hand) Yaw. By jingoes 1 dat is no goot. 
Capt. My good friend, that was a regular yankee grip. 
Hans. Veil, I don't like some of dose yankee grips. 
Capt. Be so kind as to make known your business. 1 have no time to ' 

Hans. I ish one great brofessional man. (Ueps to table ajid drinks punch.) 
Dht isa goot. 

Capt. Here sir, put that down. 

Hans. It ish all down. (puts down bowl. 

Capt. (angrily) Did yuu come in here to trifle with me in this manner ? 
Sir if you don't state your errand at once I'll put you out. Your name at 
once sir I 

Hans. It ish Hans Glyvenham. 

Capt. How do you manage to spell such a jawbreaker as that? 

Hans. H-a-n-s Hans, that's the Haus, G-l-y Gly, that's the Hans Gly 
v-a-n van, that's the Hans Glyvan, h-a-m ham, that's the Hans Glyvanham. 

(apt. Well, I must say that is one of the worst spells I ever heard of. 
Did you come for the purpose of making an engagement to travel with me? 

Hans. Yaw, dot vas my idea. I vants to go 'roun der coontry mit you, 
undsing mine leedle songs. Bud I ash had no dinner, und mine appodide 
is pooty good. 

Capt. Oh, if you are hungry I'll feed you. First door to the left leads to 
the kitchen, (aside) Here's another famished star, (aloud) Right that way 
sir, first door to the left, I say. 

Hans. Ish dot sho ? (going, sings) "Sourkrout ish 'bully, I dink it's 
pooty fine, 1 guess I orter kno' coz I eat him all de dime." (exit, h. 

Capt. A fine specimen of Dutch ballad singing truly. This is making 



6 MOTHER'S FOOL. 

engagements with a vengeance — on my pork and beansl'll leave those 
two professionals to their fate, while I call on the printer. (rings bell. 

Enter Triangles, L. 

Tri. I'm come, massa Cap'ii. 

Capt. Triangles, I'm going out on business for a short time, I want you 
to stay in the office, and if any one calls, tell them I will be back in half 
an hour or less. 

Tri. All right massa, I'll tend to de business. (Captain exit, k.) Yah ! 
yah ! yah ! Specs I'll run dis shanty for a little while to suit myself, (seats 
himself at table and busies himself with the Captai?i's papers, dips pen in ink 
and occasionally appears to write a few u-ords) Dis am (taking up paper) one 
ob de papergrams for de fust performance. 

Enter Augustus, L. C. 

Aug. Ah, Triangles, busy I see ! What are you doing now ? 
Tri. Yes — I's goin' to be de autor ob my own biography. 
Aug. You mean to say, you are writing your own autobiography ? 
Tri. Yes — Recollections of a busy life ; busy as a fly in a tar barrel. 
Bought forty reams ob paper and a gallon ob red ink, and a gross ob steel 
pens. 

Aug. No doubt there must have been some steal about it if you were con- 
cerned. And when your auto what d'ye call it is finished, you doubt- 
less intend to make an auto da fe — burn it up ? 

Tri. I'd hab to be pooty well feed to make?me do dat. You know dar 
was a time when I stood high in de perfession. 
Aug. That's why they call you a high old actor, I suppose ? 
Tri. Yaas, dats it. I make my fust appearance in tragedy. 
Aug. Ah, indeed! In what part? 

Tri. Why, in all de parts. I carried a banner too; and when I rounded 
de footlights, such a storm of 'plause busted out from de specletaters, gol- 
ly I you'd tought de house was afire. "0, what legs !" yelled out one fel- 
ler in de pit. "Walk up lively young spindleshanks !" hollered out anod- 
er. And den de nickles come rattlin' around me. 

Aug. They were only quizzing you Triangles. And at that eventful 
moment of your life you were the counterpart of a boiling spring, because 
you were a guy sir. 

Tri. Only know dat I was bilin ober wid indignation. But I paid 'em 
• back for it. Yaas, I paid 'em back. "Show me de feller dat said spindle- 
shanks !" said I, and wid dat I jump' down into de pit, and begin lamin 
around me, regardless ob expence. You'd ought -to seen de buttons fly. 
When I'd licked 'em all, de manager cum in, and says he "You're my mut- 
ton. Any one dat can sling folks around in dat way, can beat Forre3t in 
Damon." "I know I'm some at dammin' and cussin,' " says I, "ax dem 
galoots if I ain't." Well you wouldn't beliebe it, but it am a "lact, de man- 
ager gib me an engagement, and a long night-gown from the wardrobe, 
right off, and put me up for Damon. 

Aug. But my colored iriend. how is it that I find you here? Your en- 
gagement there must have been more lucrative than it is here, doing the 
Captain's drudgery. 
Tri. More what? 

Aug. Why I merely wanted to find oat why you didn't continue to play 
Damon? 

Tri. Well, you see I got to dammin so much, de boss turned me off. 
Aug. I see, you were too heavy for the part. Do you want to earn same 
money ? 

Tri. Keber was in more pressin' need ob it. Dis yere am my whole 
wardrobe. 
Aug. Can you keep a secret? 



MOTHER'S FOOL. 

Tri. Foreber. I'll lock it in my own buzzum, and carry it wid me to de 

gY Au(} (qivinq money) Very well, here's a dollar. Now I want you to 
find out, if you don't already know, the combination to the Captain a safe. 

Tri. 'Didn't know de Cap'n had any darnation in his safe. 

Au'n. I mean the numbers he uses to open the lock. 

Tri Dat must be de little verse de Cap'n says ober when he gets on his 
marrer bones to open de door. Golly, I know what dat is. 

Aug. Well, what is it? ^ 

Tri Shan't tell, 'coz you gib me a dollar to keep de secret. 

Au'n Well, I'll give you five dollars if you will tell me. 

Tri'. Pass ober de stamps, and I'll say de poitry. (Augustus gives money 

Enter Toby, l. 
He say, "4-11-44, two turns to de right, and open de door." By golly dars 

dat fool. . „ , _ iT ... n i 

Toby. I'm a fool. I'm mother's fool. But I like to fish. 

Aug. Never mind him, he's a perfect dolt, {aside) Now I'll take a look 
for the Captain's bonds. If Triangles is right about the combination, 1 
shall have no trouble, (aloud) Remember Triangles, not a word. 

Tri. Not so much as a lisper. {exit Augustus, c. 

Toby I've got my little hook all baited ; I like to fish. p yexit c. 

Tri. Once more I'm master ob ceremonies, and six dollars in de bank. 

Enter Cinnamon, L. 

Cin. I say you black an tan feller, where's the Captain ? 
Tri. I'm de black feller what can tan your hide. De Cap n s on a leabe 
ob absence for a short time. ( 

Cin. Darn it then, I've got to come agin. 

Enter Hans, l. 

Come, Dutchy lets be going, the Cap'n's gone away. 

Hans. Ish dot sho ? Veil 1 dond like dot pooty veil. 

Cin. Come on Germany. We'll come again before supper, 

Hans, (singing) "Sourkrout ish bully, etc. (Both exit*. 

Tri Bv eolly i I wonder dem fellers didn't pick my pockets, (takes 
out money Snd lays on table) I wonder what Dolly's beau axed me dat six 
dollar question for ? I jess like to talk all day to him at de same rate. 
(knock r., Triangles crams money in his pocket) Come in san. 
Enter Polly Pineapple, R. • 

By p??! ly Youn a g S mVn, will you have the goodness to inform me whether the 
manager of the Hippacollosiculum is at present in readiness to grant your 
humble servant an interview? ™ j T „ ., flo „ u 

Tri. (astonished) De who, ob de what, am a when-For de Lawd s sake 
who he vou' 

Pol. You astonish me sir, you do indeed Where are your manners 
voim* man ? 1 have called in response to the card, inserted by Captain 
Thunderbolt, in the last number of our favorite periodical. < 

Tri. Am dat so Missus? What be your special line ob business ? 

Pol. Mv voice young man, my voice is my greatest attraction. 

Tri. 1 tink quite likely dat am so, 'coz I knowed 'twant yer face. 

Pol. How dare you address such language to a lady who has, from 
childhood up, been reared among the green hills of New England and rev- 
elled in the glorious beauties of nature, and whose greatest delight has been 
to wander over the verdant meadows, and inhale the sweet fragrance of 
the new mown hay, which during the bleak winter is stored away to ap- 
pease the hunger ot a well stocked barn. 



\ 



8 MOTHER'S FOOL. 

Tri. By golly 1 I ax yer pardon missus, (aside) Ef she don't beat all 
de specimens ob femenine peticoaled scare -crows dat eber come in range 
ob dis chile's vision, (aloud) Let's hear you unrabel de remainder ob dat 
skein. 

Pol. Well sir, it has long been my greatest ambition to appear before 
the footlights, and pour forth to the fun-loving world, in aecents of sweet- 
est melody, the productions of earth's greatest authors. It is for this pur- 
pose that I have invaded these precincts, to apply for such a situation 
where mv greatest wish may be gratified. 

Tri. Well you see de Cap'n's out just now, and it's too much ob a 'spon- 
sibility to take on my shoulders, so you'll hab to call again. 

Pel. Many thanks. Aurevoir. (exit R. 

Tri. (laughs) Dat critter beats all de specimens ob dry goods and 




to speak so fluidly. De scene am in "De lady mid de lions." Where 
Claude gits de gal so sweet mid his lies, dat she slopes mid him. (steps to 
one end of table* and with slight but significant gestures, recites the following 
a ia Shakespere.) 

'Twas in a deep vale shut out by old pine freezes, 

Kear de big pond, whar pwiins de ducks and geeses, 

Persimmons sweet, and sweeft potatoes grows, 

And de essence ob de sunflower salute de nose. 

In a little hut made out ob logs ob pine. 

Covered all ober wid de mornin'-glory's vine ; 

There love we'd sit and often wonder 

If anything could tear asunder, two lovin' hearts like ours. 

We'd know no peoples 'cept dose who had de dollars, 

And dem dat wore good clothes, and de biggest kind «-b large shirt 
collars. 

Read de "Spirit ob de Age" and dare we'd see, ho* many pesky 
scamps dar be, 

Sent by de Judge up for thirty days ; 

Boarded by Hewittjat public expense, to mend dar way*; 

Den de telephone reportsJwe'd read,"ob scalawags killed* in showers, 

And smile to tink what a happy fate was ours; 

And in de ebenin' when it darkly got, 

We'd illuminate de kitchen wid de old pine knot, 

Breathe sighs ob love tho' stars and moon, 

while eatin' supper off de roasted coon ; 

And petreoleum lamps from Cleveland straight, 

Should help to keep us wide awake ; 

And ebery wind should pass de still house'on'de green, 

Loaded wid perfume ob'whiskey made ob AVoodruff' s k^**«ene. 

Ah ! in such a home tojtake you I would wish, 

Enter Captain, R. 

By Golly ! say boss, what's de price ob fish ? 

Capt. What are you up to here, you black scamp? What ha^l I to do 
with the price of fish ? 

Tri. Why, you see Cat'n, dat fool, dat da-mented feller, goes fUhin' so 
much, I thought ef he had any sort ob luck you'd want to sole some. 

Capt. Stuff and nonsense ! Let me hear no more such talk. H*s any- 
thing of importance transpired during my absence? 

Tri, Well I should think dar hab. Only jes a short spell ago on« -ob de 
inos splendiferous angels you eber seed come in here, and wanted to "Know 
if de inanagum of de Rhinoceros war in. When I tole her in de negative, 



MOTHER'S FOOL. 9 

she commenced ladlin' out her slack jaw, and by garry mighty I I frought 
she never'd stop unwindin'. 

Capt. Probably another applicant in answer to my card. You told her 
to call again, of course ? 

Tri. Oh yaas, she'll be back. She got her eye on me. 

Capt. You can go now, till I ring. 

Tri. All right, Cap'n. (strikes attitude) "He who steals mv good name 
steals trash ; but he who steals my purse steals six dollars in cash." (exit h 

Capt. The block-head's stage struck I do believe. Now I'll just step in- 
to my sleeping room and get the money, and go up and pay Hank White 
for that watch I bought of him. Hank stuck me on that, he's sharp since 
his experience in the ninety-nine cent business. (exit <\ 

Enter Toby, l. 

Toby. The weather's gittin' foggy. Nice weather to fish. Shiners make 
the best bait to catch eels with. 

Enter Captain', hurriedly. 

Capt. Tornadoes and hurricanes! volcanoes and earthquakes! some- 
one's been (sees Toby. 

Toby. Hullo, Uncle ! somebody's been fishin' in your pond, hain't they ? 

Capt. (aside) Heaven's and earth ! I should think so. But 1 must keep 
mum before him. 

Toby. It's that Augustus man. I don't like him uncle, he calls me 
mother's fool. Be I a fool uncle? 

Capt. Don't bother me with so many foolish questions, Toby, (aside) Can 
it be that Toby hit the mark unawares ? Who would take theliberty to en- 
ter my private apartment, except my servant. Ha! I'll question him. 
(aloud) Toby 1 would like to have you withdraw; I have matters of a pri- 
vate nature to attend to. 

Toby, (to himself) He thinks like all the rest, that Toby's a fool. Oh 
dear ! what a fool, a fool is. But I like to fish. (exit h. 

Capt. ISlow to question that servant. (rings bell. 

Enter Triangles, L. 

Triangles, I am about to ask you a question, and I shall expect you to tell' 
me the solemn truth. 

Tri. Proceed Cap'n. I wouldn't tell a lie fer a dollar. 

Capt. Very well. The fact is, some one has been into my safe and has 
changed the combination, so that I am unable to open it. Now Triangles, 
you are the only one that knows the way to open it. 

Tri. Bress de Lord ! I hope you don't tink I'd do dat? 

Capt. I hope not, but I must say that circumstances are very much 
against you. 

Tri. I didn't do it massa. I swar I didn't. I tole yer I wouldn't tell a 
lie fer a dollar and I wouldn't I swar I wouldn't. Don't look at me dat 
way Cap'n. 

Capt. Is there any one whom you would suspect, Triangles? 

Tri. Not a suspect, Cap'n ; dar hain't nobody been here only dat oder- 
iff'erous angel and dat fool. Golly, massa ! I tink now dat fool's de chap 
what has busted de consternation. 

Capt. 1 cannot, for a moment, think that Toby would do such a thing, 
even if it were possible, besides how could he have learned the combina- 
tion? 

Tri. Don't know massa, I neber tole a libin' soul. 

Capt. This is indeed a mystery. Stop ! now I recall what the idiot said 
when I first came in. Triangles, go send Toby to me at once. 

Tri. Yaas sir. (aside) By golly ! I hope I'll get out ob dis. (exit L. 

Capt. Have I taken that brainless being into my household, to be paid 




10 MOTHER'S FOOL. 

in this manner ? I shall soon find out, depend upon it. Yet I arn half in- 
clined to think that that darkey knows something about the matter. If I 
find he has meddled with my private affairs, I'll give him such a hauling 
over the coals as he won't be likely to forget in a hurry. 
Tri. {outside) Go right along in dar, you poor fool. 

Enter Triangles and Toby, L. 

Here's de wictim, Cap'n. 

Capt. Toby, I have undoubtedly lost a sum of money. My safe has 
been tampered with, so that I am unable to open it, and therefore do not 
know the extent of my loss. Do you know anything about it ? 

Toby. Ha ! I know what money is. I like money. 

Capt. But Toby, did yju have a hand in the theft ? 

Toby. Oh, yes ! I've got my hand in it. I know where the money is. 
I like money. 

Tri. Dar Cap'n, dat's what I tole yer. I knowed you'd rep de whirl- 
wind when ye let dat da-mented feller come here. 

Capt. I never was more astonished in my life. Toby, unless you imme- 
diately make restitution in a proper manner, I'll let th© law take its course. 

Tri. (imitating) Yaas sir, ef yer don't immegiately shake yer constitu- 
tion in a proper manner, I'll let dis paw take its course. 

Toby. Oh L don't want to be hung. I'll get the money back. But I 
like to fish. 

Capt. Undoubtedly this is your first offense, and if the money is return- 
ed within an hour all will be well. How did you learn the combination ? 

Toby. I'll get the money back. I know the combination, 4-11-44. 

Capt. Sure enough, I'm not worried now so much about the money ; 
but the mystery grows deeper and deeper, (knock r.) Triangles, see who 
is there. 

Tri. (goes to door r., looks out) Oh ! (returns) It's dat lubly angel. 

Capt. Why don't you show her in you block-head. 

Toby. Ha, ha 1 I know what a block-head is. (Triangles goes to door. 

Enter Polly Pineapple, R.. 

Tri. (introducing Polly, bowing nearly to floor) Dat's de man you're arter 
right dar. (points to Capt. — aside) By golly, don't I wish she'd git arter me. 

Polly. Thanks to the powers that bel have succeeded, after my mul- 
titudious ramifications, in finding the person, whom something tells me, is 
to be the means of my reaching the very acme of fame, amidst the galaxy 
of brilliant stars which cluster and sparkle with such resplendent brilliant 
cy in the firmament of the musical world. 
' Tri. Don't dat beat anything ye ever heard, boss? 

Capt. Will you be quie't sir ? (to Polly) Really, 1 feel flattered by thaS 
visit. In what way can I be of service to you ? 

Polly. My dear and respected sir, noticing your delicate appeal in the 
periodical of the profession, I have hastened to your presence with the fire 
of hope burning in my breast. 

Tri. Golly, Cap'n ! her breast's all afire ? Let's put it out. 

Capt. Stop your noise ! (to Polly) Ah, madam ! If I understand you 
aright, you are here in answer to my card? (Polly boivs) You wish to trav- 
el ? (Polly again inclines her head) You are a bird of song I presume? 

Polly. Oh sir ! the chivalry of the divine art of music has garlanded my 
chaplet with the fairest and sweetest flowers that bloom in the parterre of 
beauty, whose fragrance will impregnate with redolency, every impulse of 
a generous heart. The brightest star that radiates the galaxy of fascinat- 
ing women, shines upon and illumines my pathway, with her bland smile 
and alluring light, whose resplendent effulgence, glowing with undimmed 
lustre, each revolving season will pilot the ingenious victor of so estimable 
a prize to the haven of happiness. 



MOTHER'S FOOL. U 

Tri. She must be wound up fer eight days. 

Polly. I feel that my life is destined to be crowned, with the richest and 
most beautiful jewel that gleams in the casket of song, whose diamond bril- 
• Hancy will color with a more vernal hue, the laurels already wreathed 
around my brow, gleaned from my voyage down the stream of time. Fu- 
ture joys and blessings, as exquisit and hallowed as those engendered by a 
shower of roses, scattered down by the hands of the Peri from the far off 
gardens of Paradise, are sure to crown my future career, and increase with 
the lapse of years. 

Tri. (strikes attitude) See dat splendifferous angel from de barn-yard 
ob Paradise, wid a chaplet of posies restin' on her cranium, and from whose 
tear-dimmed eyes dar gleams a brilliancy ob more venomus hue, which 
increases as she lops her ears. 

Capt. [angrily) I'll break every bone in your black body, if I hearanother 
word from you unless you are spoken to. (knock r.) Excuse me for a mo- 
ment madam. Triangles, go to the door and see who is there, and show 
them in. 

Tri. (goes to door) Bight dis way, gcmmeu. 

Enter Hans and Cinnamon, r. 

Hans. Veil now vy you dond gonclude dot bargain vot you broked off 
in der middle, ven you runned avay ond lefd us in der gitchen? 

Cin. By beesnas yes, we don't want to be fooled round this way. Is 
that your gal Cap'n ? I vum ! she ain't nothin' very killin.' 

Hans. Yah, dot ish she, ef ye dond dold us der reason ve shall have sat- 
isfaction mid der pishtol. 

Capt. Well, well, my good friends, you are a little too fast. Becent cir- 
cumstances of a very trying nature have transpired which have rendered 
me totally oblivious to your claims. 

Hans. Ish dot oho ? Veil vot's der madder mit you any way ? 

Cin. Yes, what's the row? Spit 'er out. 

Enter Augustus, L. 

Capt. Upon my return a short time since, I discovered that I had been 
the looser of a large sum of money . 

Har.s. Ish dot sho? Veil dot vash doo bad. 

Tri. Yaas, but I tole de Cap'n de fool what stole it. 

Toby. (l. c, back) Ha! I now what a fool is, I'm a fool. I'm mother's 
fool. (Polly starts, Hans and Cinnamon exchange glances of surprise. 

Polly. Oh, heavens! My dear good Captain protect me. Have I fallen 
unawares into the presence of a maniac ? 

Capt. Best assured,- good lady, you shall not be harmed. That is a poor 
demented being, perfectly harmless I assure you. 

Aug. Captain, my dear sir, what is this I hear, did I understand you to 
say you had been robbed ? 

Capt. You did sir. My safe was opened, but the guilty one is discover* 
ed, so no material harm will result, 1 am quite sure. 

Aug. I feel relieved to hear you say so, for I should dislike very much 
to have such an occurrence happen while I was an inmate of your house. 

Toby, (goes up behind Augustus and quickly springs handcuffs upon his 
wrists) Liar! Thie f ! Scoundrel! I've got you at last, you smooth tongued 
villain. The slippery eel that I've fished for so long, has at last swallowed 
the bait. I've followed you all the way from the city, that I might reap 
the honor which this denouement assures. I tracked you to this place and 
took advantage of my mothers' old time acquaintance with that man, whom 
you, but a short time ago, attempted to so basely rob. I, played the fool 
with what success you have seen. Augustus Selwell, alias, John Simms, I 
arrest you for the crime of forgery on the Speedwell National Bank. 

(all appear greatly astonished. 



12 MOTHER'S FOOL. 

CapL. "Who would have suspected it? 

Polly. Oh J I faint. {nearly falls but is supported by the Captain. 

Hans. Py Zhiroiny 1 

Cm. By thunder ! 

Tri. I spec I'll loose all de wool on dis yere cocoanut now. 

Aug. By what right sir, I ask, are you attempting to play this practical 
joke upon an innocent man ? Who are you ? 

Toby, {opens his coat and shows the badge of a detective) I am Howard 
Tobias Thompson, the detective, {removes false wig and beard) No doubt 
my countenance is now familliar to you. And by my right I now proceed 
to search lor the missing bonds, {reaches into his breast pocket and draws 
forth a package) Here my friends is the absolute proof of his guilt, and 
which I saw him take from your safe Captain, which he was enabled to 
open, by taking advantage of your servant's knowledge, and by bribery, 
causing him to reveal the secret combination. They thought the presence 
of the poor fool was no hinderance to their plans. 

Capt. My astonishment increases with every moment. Triangles you 
have forfeited your honor. {Triangles begins to tremble) In consideration 
of the property's having been restored, I will not molest you. But leave 
my service at once and forever. Go ! 

Tri. Yaas Cap'n. I'se sorry to have any sich occurrance happen in de 
family, but l'se innocent ob any bad intentions, {aside, going r.) By Gol- 
ly ! I'ee got six dollars, an' dat's more'n 1 ever got workin' fer dat old 
galoot. {exit a. 

Capt. {advancing to detective and extending his hand) Accept my humble 
apology for my previous estimate of you, and rest assured that I am truly 
grateful for the service you have rendered me, as well as the community at 
large. 

Toby. No apology is necessary, because I succeeded in fooling you all, 
it only goes to prove thatl played my part in a successful manner. 

Aug. 1 can testify to that as far as my experience goes. 

Toby. I a_a glad of that; I feel flattered that it is so. {to audience) And 
I am vain enough to believe that our friends here, have 'ere this, made up 
their minds, that there are even greater fools in the world than, Mother's 
Fool ! 

Situations at close. 
e. Cin. Hans. Toby. Aug. Capt. Polly. %. 



AMES' STANDARD AI\I> MINOR DKAMA, 

40. THAT MYSTERIOUS BUNDLE. A Farce in one act, by Hattie Lena 
Lambla. 2 male, 2 female characters. Costumes, modern. Scenery, a plain 
room. A Variety peice, yet can be performed by Amatuers, etc. A Mysterious 

bundle figures in this farce, which contains a . Time of performance, 20 

minutes. 

41. WON AT LAST. A Comedy Drama in 3 acts, by Wybert Reeve, 7 male, 
3 female characters. Costumes modern. Scenery, drawing-room, street and 
office. Every character is good. Jennie Hight starred on the character of "Con- 
stance" in this play. Amatuers can produce it. Time of performance, 1 hour 
45 minutes. 

42. DOMESTIC FELICITY. A Farce in one act, by Hattie Lena Lambla, 1 
male, 1 female character. Costumes modern. Scene, a dining room. The name 
fully describes the piece. Very funny. Time of performance, fii'Teen minutes. 

43. ARRAII DE BA UGH. A Drama in 5 acts, by F. C. Kinnaraan, 7 male, 
5 female characters. Costumes modern. Scenes, exteriors and interiors. A 
most exquisite love story in a play, abounding in scenes of great beauty. The 
depth of woman's love is beautifully shown. Time of performance about two 
hours. 

44. OBEDIENCE, OR TOO MINDFUL BY FAR. A Comedietta in one 
act, by Hattie Lena Lambla*, 1 male, 2 female characters. Costumes modern. 
Scenes, plain room and bed room. An old fellow who thinks he is very sick, be- 
comes vely peevish and particular. A plot is formed to break him of his foolish- 
ness. Very amusing. Time of performance twenty minutes. 

45. ROCK ALLEN THE ORPHAN, OR LOST AND FOUND. A Comedy 
Drama in one act, by W. Henri Wilkins, 5 male, 3 female characters. Costumes 
modern. Scenes interiors. Time, during the Rebellion. This play represents 
the real "deown east" characters to perfection. An old man and woman are al- 
ways quarreling, and their difficulties are very amusing. Time of performance, 
one hour and twenty minutes. 

46. MAN AND WIFE. A Drama in five acts, by H. A. Webber, 12 male, 7 
female characters. Costumes modern. Scenery exteriors and interiors. This 
drama is one of intense interest and is a faithful dramatization of Wilkie Collins' 
story of the same name. This is said by competant critics to be the best dram- 
atization published, and it should be in the hands of every dramatic company 
in the country. It has become a great favorite. 

47. IN THE WRONG BOX. An Ethiopean Farce in one act, by M. A,. D. 
CHfton, 3 male characters. Costumes, peddler's and darkey's dilapidated dress. 
Scene, a wood. Characters repiesented, a darkey, an Irishman and a Yankee. 
Time of performance twenty minutes. 

48. SCHNAPPS. A Dutch Farce in one act, M. A. D. Clifton, 1 male, 1 fe- 
male character. Costumes, burlesque German. Scene, a plain room. A neat 
little piece for two Dutch players, introducing songs and dances. Time of per- 
formance, 15 to 30 minutes, at the pleasure of the performers. 

49. DER TWO SUBPRISES. A Dutch Farce in one act, by M. A. D. Clifton, 

I male, 1 female character. Costumes, peasant's, and old man's and old woman's 
dress. Scene, a kitchen. A very neat little sketch, introducing songs and 
dances. Time of performance, about twenty minutes. 

50. HAMLET. A Tragedy in five acts, by Shakespeare, 15 male, 3 female 
characters. Probably no other play by the immortal Shakespeare is produced 
as frequently as this one. It needs no description. Time of performance about 
two hours and thirty minutes. 

51. RESCUED. A Temperance Drama in two acts, by Clayton H. Gilbert, 5 
male, 3 female characters. This play visibly depicts the dangerous consequen- 
ces of falling into bad company, the follies of the intoxicating bowl, and shows 
that even the pure love of a noble girl will be sacrificed to the accursed appetite. 
The solemn scenes are balanced by the funny portions, and all in all the play 
is a grand success. Costumes modern. Scenes, interiors some neatly and some 
handsomely furnished. Time of performance one hour. 

52. HENRY GRANDEN. A Drama in three acts, by Frank Lester Bingham, 

II male, 8 female characters. This drama is sensational in a high degree, 
abounding in thrilling scenes among the Indians, hair breadth escapes, etc. It 
should be purchased by every dramatic company that wish something to suit the 
public. Costumes not hard tb arrange. Time of performance two hours. 



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53. OUT IN THE STREETS. A Temperance Drama in three acts, by S. N. 
Cook, 6 male, 4 female characters. Wherever this drama has been produced it 
has been received with the greatest enthusiasm. Listeners have been melted to 
tears at the troubles of Mrs. Bradford, and in the next scene been convulsed 
with laughter at the drolleries of North Carolina Pete. Costumes modern. 
Scenes, interiors. Time of performance, about one hour. 

54. THE TWO T. J's. A Farce in one act, by Martin Beecher, 4 male, 2 fe- 
male characters. Costumes of the day ; scene an ordinary room. This is a cap- 
ital farce and has two male characters excellent for light and low comedians. 
Good parts also for old and young lady. Time of performance thirty minutes. 

55. SOMEBODY'S NOBODY. A Farce in one act and one scene, by C. A. 
Maltby, 3 male. 2 female characters. Scene, interior. Easily arranged n any 
parlor or hall, as it can be produced without scenery. Costumes modern with 
the exception of Dick Mizzle's which is hostler's and afterwards extravagant 
fashionable. This most laughable farce was first produced at the Drury Lane 
Theater, London, where it had a run of one hundred and fifty consecutive 
nights. It is all comic, and has excel! on t parts for old man, walking gent, low 
comedy, walking lady and chambermaid. Time of performance, 30 minutes. 

56. WOOING UNDER DIFFICULTIES. A Farce in one act and one scene, 
by John T. Douglass, 4 male, 3 female characters. Scene, handsomely furnished 
apartment. Costumes of the day. Probably no poor fellow ever wooed under 
more distressing difficulties than the one in this farce. It all comes about 
through a serious misunderstanding. A crusty old man, and a quarrelsome and 
very important servant go to make the farce* extremely funny. Time of per- 
formance thirty minutes. 

57. PADDY MILES' BOY. An Irish Farce in one act, by James Pilgrim, 5 
male. 2 female characters. Scenes, exteriors and interiors. Costumes eccentric, 
and Irish for Paddy. Probably there is not an Irish farce published so often 
presented as thisoiie, but it is* always a favorite and is always received with 
great applause. Time of performance 35 minutes. 

58. WRECKED. A Temper?nce play in two acts, by A. D. Ames, 9 male, 3 fe- 
male characters. Scenes, drawing room, saloon, street and j ail. Costumes mod- 
ern. The lessons learned in this drama are most excellent. The language is 
pure, containing nothing to offend the most refined ear. From the comfortable 
home and pleasant fireside, it follows the downward course of the drunkard to 
the end. AH this is followed by counterfeiting, the death of the faithful wife 
caused by a blow from the hand of a drunken husband, and finally the death of 
the drunkard in the madhouse. Time of performance about one hour. 

59. SAVED. A Temperance Sketch in two acts, by Edwin Tardy, 2 male, 3 
female characters. Scenes, street and plain room. Nicely adapted to amatuers, 
Time of performance twenty minutes. 

60. DRIVEN TO THE WALL, OR TRUE TO THE LAST. A Play in four 
acts, by A. D. Ames. 10 male and 3 female characters. For beauty of dialogue, 
startling situations, depths of feeling, there is none en the American Stage supe- 
rior to.".this one. The plot is an exceedingly deep one, and the interest begins 
with the first speech, and does not for a moment cease until the curtain falls on 
the last scene of the last act. The cast is small and the costumes easily arranged. 
It can be played on any stage. It has parts for Leading Emotional Lady, Juve- 
nile Lady, Leading Man, Villain, Character Old Man. First Old Man, Comedy, etc. 

61. NOT AS DEAF AS*HE SEEMS. An Ethiopean Farce in one act. 2 
male characters. Scene, a plain room. Costumes exagerated and comic. Ex- 
tremely ridiculous and funny. Time of performance 15 minutes. 

62. TEN NIGHTS IN A BAR-ROOM. A Temperance Play in five acts, by 
Wm. W. Pratt, from T. S. Arther's novel of the same name— 7 male, 3 female 
characters. This edition is rewritten, containing many new points, and is the 
best ever presented to the public. Nothing need be said in its praise, as it is too 
well known. It is often played, and always successfully. Time of performance 
about two hours. 

63. THREE GLASSES A DA F, Or. The Broken Home. A grand Moral and 
Temperance Drama, in two acts, by Wr Henri Wilkins, 4 male, 2 female charact- 
ers. Costumes modern. Scenes, interiors. First-class characters for Leading 
Man, Villain, a genuine down-east Yankee, which is also very funny ; also Lead- 
ing Lady, and a tip-top Comedy Lady. If a company wishes something with an 
excellent moral, at the same time running over with genuine humor, buy this. 
Time of performance about one hour and thirty minutes. 

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64. THAT BOY SAM. An Ethiopian Farce in one act, by F. L. Cutler. S 
male, 1 female character. Scene, a plain room and common furniture. Cos- 
tumes, comic, to suit the characters. Very funny, and effectually gives the 
troubles of a "colored gal" in trying to have a beau" and the pranks of "that boy 
Sam." Time of performance twenty minutes. 

65. AN UNWELCOME BETIBN. A Comic Interlude, in one act, by Geo. 
A. Munson. 3 male, 1 female character. Scene, a dining room. Costumes. 
modern. Companies will find tins a very amusing piece, two negroes being very 
funny — enough so to keep an audience in the best of humor. Time of perform- 
a nce, twenty minutes. 

66. HANS, THE D UTCH J. P. A Dutch Farce in one act, by F. L. Cutler, 
3 male, 1 female character. An exceedingly funny piece. Hans figures as a 
Justice in the absence of his master, and his exploits are extremely ludricous. 
Costumes modern. Scene, plain room. Time of performance, twenty minutes. 

67. THE FALSE FB1END. A Drama in two acts, by Geo. S. Vautrot. 6 
male, 1 female character. Simple scenery and costumes. First class characters 
for leading man, old man, villain, a rollicking Irishman, etc. also a good lead- 
ing lady. This drama is one of thrilling interest, and dramatic companies will 
invariably be pleased with it. Time of performance, one hour and forty-five 
minutes. 

68. THE SHAM PBOFESSOB. A Farce in one act, by F. L. Cutler. 4 male 
characters. This intensely funny afterpiece can be produced by any company. 
The characters are all first class," and the "colored individual" is especially fun- 
ny. Scene, a plain room. Costumes, simple. Time of performance, about 
twenty minutes. 

69. MOTHERS FOOL. A Farce in one act, by W. Henri Wilkins. 6 male, 
1 female character. Like all of Mr. Wilkins' plays, this is first class. The 
characters are all well drawn, it is very amusing, and proves an immense suc- 
cess wherever produced. Scene, a simple room. Costumes modern. Time of 
performance, thirty minutes. 

70. WHICH WILL HE MABBY. A Farce in one act, by Thomas Egerton 
Wilks. 2 male, 8 female characters. Scene, a street. Costumes modern. Easi- 
ly arranged on any stage. A barber hears that one of eight women has fallen 
heir to some money, not knowing which, he makes love to them all. This, to- 
gether with the revenge the females have upon him, will prove laughable enough 
to suit any one. Time of representation, thirty minutes. 

71. THE BEWABD OF CBIME, OB THE LOVE OF GOLD. A Drama of 
Vermont, in two acts, by W. Henri Wilkins. 5 male, 3 female characters. A 
drama from the pen of this author is sufficient guarantee of its excellence. 
Characters for old man, 1st and 2d heavy men, juvenile. A splendid Yankee, 
lively enough to suit any one. Old woman, juvenile woman, and comedy. 
Costumes modern. Scene, plain rooms and street. Time of performance, one 
hour and thirty minutes. Easily placed upon the stage, and a great favorite 
with amatuers. 

72. THE DEUCE IS IN HIM. A Farce in one act, by R. J. Raymond. 5 
male, 1 female character. Scene, a plain room. Costumes modern. This farce 
is easily arranged, and can be produced on any stage, in fact, in a parlor. The 
pranks of the doctor's boy will keep an audience in roars of laughter, every line 
being full of fun. Time of performance, thirty minutes. Order this, and you 
will be pleased. 

73. AT LAST. A Temperance Drama in three acts, by G. S. Vautrot. 7 male 
1 female character. This is one of the most effective temperance plays ever pub- 
lished. Good characters for leading man, 1st and 2d villain, a detective, old 
man, a Yankee, and a capital negro, also leading lady. The temptations of city 
life are faithfully depicted, the effects of gambling, strong drink, etc. Every 
company that orders it will produce it. Costumes modern. Scene, Mobile, 
Time of performance, one hour and thirty minutes. 

74. HOW TO TAME YOUB MOTHEB-IN-LAW. A Farce in one act, by 
Henry J. Byron. 4 male, 2 female characters. Scene, parlor, supposed to be in 
the rear of a grocers shop. Costumes modern. Whiffles the proprietor of the 
grocery, has a mother-in-law who is^ always interfering with his business. Vari- 
ous expedients are resorted to to cure her— a mutual friend is called in. who, by 
the aid of various disguises frightens the old lady nearly to death, finajly Whif- 
fles gets on a "ge-lorious drunk," and at last triumphs. A perfect success. 
Time of performance, thirty-five minutes. 



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rf; 16. 77/ C SSAK A Tragedy, in five acts, bv R. Talbot Esq.. 6 males, 3 fe- fth 

(Jj) male characters. G-ood parts for 1st and 2nd Tragedian, and Tragic lady. The }i 

M) character of Ossip is very powerfully drawn. The history of his early love— of ,-, 

^ his marriagi — the indignities he is made to sutler, and the death of his wife, is ) { 

(j; highly wrought ; and his sarcastic levity and deep revenge are unfolded with a £ 

fa terrible earnestness. Scene, apartments in castle. Time about 2 hours and a half . \.l 

17. 11 1 NTS ON ELOCUTION AND HOW TO BECOME AN ACTOR. This 2? 

valuable work has just been published, and contains valuable instructions that )( 

amateur actors, and every one that ever expect to make a favorable appearance r; 

in public, cannot do without it. It teaches you how to become a good and ef- ){ 
ficient reader, reciter, debater, a good actor, how to hold an audience silent, and 

treats on every subject that is necessary to be acquired in order to become a V 

good and pleasing actor. (J) 

k 18. THE POACHER'S DOOM. A Drama in 3 acts, curtailed and arranged % 

,, by A. D. Ames, 8 male, and 3 female characters, A thrilling drama, always a & 

>h favorite. Leading man, villian, two comedies, old man, leading lady, com sdy V 

lady, etc. Costumes modern. The situations in this play, are most excellent. ^ 

'1 Time of performance, 1 hour and a half. O 

j 19. Din I DREAM II 7 A Farce in one act by J. P. Wooler. 4 male, 3 fe- Q 

%. male characters. Scene, drawing room. The question "Did I Dream it" is what "\ 

j the farce is founded upon. Very strange things happen, and a uice little love W 

j scrap' helps to color tin' plot. A good piece. Costume- simple. Time of per- 

I forma nee 15 in notes. i S 

20. -I TICKET OF LhA VE. A Farce in one act, by Watts Phillips 3 m il , j 
' 2 female characters. A play written by this author is suffiuie.it giiarau.ee oi 
j its excellence. Scene, a sitting room, plain furniture. Costumes modern. Tim. 
I' ; of performance, 35 minutes. This is an excellen ; farce. Ct'' 

21. .1 ROMANTIC ATTACHMENT. A Comedietta in one act, by Arthur 
y \>) Wood, :; niai ■, 3 female characters. A most excellent little pldy, well ad plod 
V for school exhibitions, lodges, amatuers, etc. i"h scenery is simple, being a 
( A') plain room, Ls alway a favorite with every company which plays it. Tim vi 
j ■' performance, 35 minutes. 

■2-2. CAPTAIN SMITH. A Farce in one act, by E. Berrie, 3 male, 3 female 
characters. This excellent little farce is equally well adapted for school exhi- 
bitions, etc., as No. 21. The dialogue is sparkling, not a dull speech from be- 
ginning to end. The plot simple, the piece easily performed. Seene, a plain 
room. Costumes modern. Time of performance, 30 minutes. ,( 

23i Ml HEARTS IN THE HIGHLANDS. A Farce in one act, by Wil- <j 

liam Brough and Andrew Halliday, 4 male, 3 female characters. Scene, exte- (V 

rior of house in the Highlands. Costumes, simple Highland. This farce is eas- (j1.> 

ilv produced anil very eU'eetive is full of fun, caused by the mishaps oftwochar- (\> 

actors, who go from the city to the country, and do not know a pig from a roe- (<\ 



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buck, nor a turkey from an ostrich. Time of performance, 25 minutes. ,\) 

24 HANDY ANDY, An Ethiopean Farce in one act, 2 male characters. t'J 
Sce.io, a kitchen. Costumes, exagerated and comic. The difficulties in procu- '^ 
ring a good and suitable servant are most ludicrously set forth in this farce. 
Time of performance, 20 minutes. 

25. SPORT WITH A SPORTSMAN. An Ethiopean Farce, in one act, 2 «)) 
male characters Costumes, exagerated sportsman's dress, and boyish dress. j" 
Scene, a w I. Time of representation, 20 minutes. A tip top negro farce. 

26. THE HUNTER OF THE ALPS. A Drama in one act, by William 
Dimoiid, '.) male, 4 female characters. Scene in-door and forest. Costumes, 
Swiss. Rosalvi, the hunter of the Alps leaves his home to procure provisions to 
keep his wife and children from starving, meets Felix, a lord, and demands, 
and finally implores of him money. Felix moved with compassion gives him 
money and goes with him to his hut, and there discovers- they are brothers. 
There is some line comedy in it. The story is beautifully told. Time of per- 
formance I hour. 

27. FETTER LANE TO GRAVESEND. An Ethiopean Farce mi one act, ( f) 
2 male characters. Scene, plain room. Costume, exagerated and comic. The \ ) 
two characters, Ike and Hystcricks are very funny, and will keep an audience A 
in roars of laughter. Short, easily produced, and a tip top farce. Time of per- ^ 
form nice 15 minutes. ^ 

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THIR :• Y-THREE NEXT 11 HIT 11 DA Y. 
lison Morton, -1 male, 2 female characters. 

.line io suit the characters. Th 

jciatcd, and is a good one as are all of Madison saorton s jmrya. 
edy i int. Tiiueof performance, 35 uiinul 

THE PAlA TtJR OF GHENT. A Play in one act, by Douglas* 
5 male, 2 female characters. Scene in Ghent. Costumes of the countn 
period. This is a beautiful play of the tragic order. The character of the "Pa n - 
er of Ghent," is one of grandeur and line language. He becomes insane al ;li ■ 
>f children, and being a painter, paints I heir portraits fr>m memory. A 
dan: ii he supposes dead, returns to him, and he recovers, 

ploy. Time of p rforinance, 1 hour. 

30. .1 DAY WELL SPENT. A Farce in one act, by John Oxen ford, 7 m 

characters. Scenery simple. Costumes, modern. Two clerks in 1 e 
absence of their "buss" conclude to shut up shop, and have a spree. Tie 
into severu' ^crapes with the females, have numerous hair breadth escapes," and 

a terrible time generally. Very amusing. Time of performance, 
miii ■ 

31. A PET OF THE PUBLIC. A Fa,ce in one act, by Edward S'erling, 
4 male, 2 female characters. Scene, parlor. Costumes, modern. In this fi 
the lady . »ur distinct characters, either of which is good. For an act- 

rai'tility, it is a splendid piece, and amatuers can also produce 't with- 
out iroubi It can either be used for a principal piece, or an afterpiece. Time 
of j eri 50 minutes. 

32. :-l'. VIFE'S RELATIONS) A Comedietta, in one act, by Walter Gor- 
don, 1 iiuii t female characters. Scene, plain apartments. Costumes, mo Jem. 
A pleasir.^, jtttle piece well suited to amatuers, school exhibitions, etc. A fel- 
low marries, her relatives comes to see her, are much more numerous than he ha* 
an idea of. The denoument is funny. Time of performance, 45 minutes. 

ON THE SL Y. A Farce in one act, by John Madison Morton, " m; 1 , 
2 female characters. Scene, plain apartment. Costumes, modern. Husbuuus, 
don't never fall in love with your wive's dress makers — never squander your 
money foolishly, never do anything "on the sly," for your wives will be sure to 
find ii out. This farce explains it all. Time of performance 45 minutes. 

34. THE MISTLETOE BOUGH. A Melo Drama in two acts, by (hubs 
Somerset,? male, 3 female characters. Scene, castle, chamber and wood. Cos- 
tumes, doublets, trunks, etc. A most excellent Melo-Drama. Plenty of blood 
and thunder, with enough jolly, rollicking fun to nicely balance it. A great 
favorite wit h aniat uers. Time of performance 1 hour and 30 minutes. 

35. HOW STO I r T YO IP RE GETTING. A Farce in one act, by John Mad- 
ison Morton, 5 male. 2 female characters. Costumes, modern. Scene, a plain 
room. This is another of Morton's excellent farces. The comedy charact r- n 
it are nicely drawn, and it always is a favorite. Easily produced. Time ( i 
performance, 35 minutes. 

36. THE MILLER OF DERWENT WATER. A Drama in three acts, by 
Edward Fitzball, 5 male, 2 female characters. Costumes, modern. Seem r\ . 
easily arranged. This i-. a touching little domestic drama, abounding in tire 

lies, and appeals to the better feelings of one's nature. The "Miller" is an 
excellent old man. Two comedy characters keep the audience in good humor. 
Time of performance, 1 hour and 30 minutes. 

37. NOT 80 BAD AFTER ALL. A Comedy, in 3 acts, by Wybert Reeve 
G male, 5 female characters. Costumes, modern. Scenery, simple and easily ar- 
ranged. Every character in this comedy is in itself a leading character, and 
everyone very funny. Probably there is not a play in the language in which 
every character is so funny as this. Time of performance, 1 hour 40 minutes. 

38. THE BEWITCHED CLOSET. A Sketch in one act, by Hattie Lena 
Lambla, 5 male, 2 female characters. Scene, Parson Grime's kitchen. Costumes 

mi. A lover gees to see his sweetheart, hides in a closet. old man ap- 
- rm the scene, thinks the closet bewitched. They upset it. Old man is 
frightened— runs away. Everything right etc. Time of performance, 15 minut •> 
.1 LIFE'S REVENGE. A Drama in :: acts, by \\ in. F. Sutei , 7 m 
n ale characters. Costumes, French, period 1661. Scenery, palace, gardei , 
hi. Can be arranged by amatuers but is a heav) piece. A line leading in u 
glorious comedy, etc. Also leading lady, juvenile lady, com en y 
This drama was a favorite with Harold Forsberg. Time of perfoim- 
aiu e. J hours and 15 mine 

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